Birds of a Feather
by AlwaysMoreMe
Summary: This is a collection of one shots between Raven and Robin, our favorite lovebirds! Rated T for mention of violence.
1. How to Save a Life

A/N: So this is a songfic that I think I'll add more to over time, but it'll be when I find songs that I can envision fitting these guys. These are songs that revolve around Raven in a relationship with Robin. The stories will not always be in Raven's POV, like the first one, for instance or be correct with the original cartoon show or they may even be AU. I do not own Teen Titans or the characters, sadly. They belong to DC Comics. I also don't own the beautiful song used in this chapter, as that it The Fray's incredible creation.

P.S. I have already posted this story but had to take it down because it was being weird. However, I've been able to repost it. So, yay!

Thx!

AMM

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Song: How to Save a Life by the Fray

Raven manages to conceal that Trigon is coming, misleading everyone by telling them, even Robin her secret lover, that it's just Slade being Slade, picking on whoever interests him. Trigon comes and Robin looks back on Raven's odd behavior, knowing things would've ended differently had she just told him.

~Robin's POV~

Why couldn't she have just told me? After everything we've been through, everything we've done. After all we learned about each other, after what we've come to mean each other.

_Step one you say we need to talk_

I tried to talk to her. I knew something was off. She's never pushed me away like she did that night. Normally we'd go somewhere more private and she'd talk to me, knowing I wouldn't judge or tell the others without her permission. She's never walked away from me since that first night we spent together, where the tension we've always felt between us just became too much to ignore any more.

_He (she) smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

I thought she might try to talk to me, that it'd be like it normally was when one of us saw the other was struggling but she surprised me by walking away, revealing nothing when she looked at me. Those violet eyes that I've learned to search for and read gave away nothing.

_You begin to wonder why you came_

Maybe I should've left her be. I could've let her go deal with whatever it'd been that had been bothering her. But that's not how our relationship works. We don't ignore each other, especially when it's clear that the other is struggling.

_Where did I go wrong?_

Would the outcome have been different if I'd ignored her obvious body language that she wanted to be alone? If I had followed her, would I be holding her right now? Would she be snuggling into my chest in the adorable way she always did?

_I lost a friend_

Just remembering she's gone now brings tears to my eyes. Picturing her in any way shakes the stone facade I've been trying to keep for the team. Smelling the incense she always had burning, seeing her teapot or tea leaves, catching the whiff of her vanilla and lavender scent on my pillow, in my sheets, nearly brings me to my knees. I keep hoping I'll wake from this nightmare and find her running her fingers through my hair to soothe me, already being awake, having sensed my overwhelming fear and waking to find and get rid of the cause, soothing me in a way only she ever could.

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

I would've held her, assured her that she wouldn't be alone if she had just let me in. I don't doubt she trusted me, but she was always the type to keep her feeling locked up and to not tell anyone how she felt for fear of burdening them. I would've done anything to quell her fears. Hold her, run my hands up and down her back in the way I know she loved. I would have pulled her close to my chest and made quiet, unhurried love to her until she knew to the core of her being that I would always be there for her, that I will always love her, that she wasn't alone. I would've done anything for her. I tried doing everything for her. I guess it wasn't enough.

_Let him (her) know that you know best_

I know her. I know she would've insisted that there's nothing any of us could do to help her. She would've denied that nothing could stop what was coming, had she told me. But I would've gently argued with her to at least hope that everything would end up okay.

'_Cause after all you do know best_

I know what it feels like to feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I know what it feels like when it's like the world is ending, crashing and burning all around you.

_Try to slip past his defense_

She tried to hide that something was off, as if I wouldn't notice. Did she think I didn't know her enough to know something was off? She was acting strange, secretive.

_Had I known how to save a life_

If I'd known, I wouldn't be crying myself to sleep, constantly dreaming of her, repeatedly finding myself at her room, the door sliding open to grant me access but I can't bring myself to enter. If I'd known, I wouldn't see her lying dead on the ground every time I close my eyes. It's all I see in the dark, when there's nothing else to occupy my mind with and my mind wanders to her. She'd been so kind that morning, attempting to make breakfast, buying pizza, agreeing to go shopping and play stank ball. I knew something was off but I never imagined it would lead to my team being short a member, that it would end up causing a huge chunk of my heart to be ripped out and stomped on.

It's the same nightmare every night that causes me to shoot upright and reach for her side of the bed only to find it empty. But it's not just a nightmare. It's a memory. A recent, heart stopping, gut wrenching, ice-filling my veins memory. I knew that even though we'd manage to stop Trigon, ultimately being forced to kill him with the unexpected help of Slade, the battle wasn't over until she was found. She was the whole reason we'd started this journey in the first place. She had gone missing in the early morning and shortly after, everything went to hell. Literally.

My eyes scan the battlefield but I see nothing but red and black, singed buildings and cars, fires still burning brightly, but no violet. I run into the most secure building, the one that had been beside Trigon throughout the fight, the one he tried to stay in front of, as if to keep us from getting to it. Either to protect what it held, or to keep it away from us.

I run through the building, shouting her name when I see white. In a heap on the floor is a pile of white fabric, covering a sprawled body, lilac hair peeking out from the top, a grey hand splayed beside the figures head, blood seeping through multiple areas of the cape. I run for her, seeing nothing else, not caring about anything else, just her. I reach her and roll her over and a cry wrenches from my throat. Her eyes are closed, mouth closed, blood trickling from her nose and ears. I collapse to my knees and pull her limp form into my chest. I don't bother checking for a pulse, knowing I won't find one.

Tears seep from my eyes, wetting my mask as I hold the form of my lifeless lover to my chest, burying my face in her neck, inhaling the smoky smell that tries to hide her lavender and vanilla scent. I briefly pull her away and press my lips to her, a zap transferring between us and my mind fills with memories of her.

Almost as if a mental note was left attached to her lips, I can hear her voice begin to rasp through my head. "Richard," she wheezes, as if she's saying it as she fights to keep breathing. "I'm so sorry I never told you what was happening. I hated running from you, withholding my feelings from you when we worked so hard to stop doing that with each other. This is why I began crying that last night we made love. All I could think about was that it had been our last time and remembering how every moment had been magical. Every moment with you always has been.

"I knew this day was coming. Not just my father breaking free, using me to destroy the world, but the day where either one of us would die and leave the other behind, broken and destroyed to carry on. I tried to fight it, tried to hope beyond hope that you would find me and save me, hold me in your arms again and promise me things will be alright even though I knew realistically they won't be. I'm not going to make it.

"I know you're nearby, love, I can feel you, our bond is strong enough on my side but I know the power of my father have muted it for you so you can't find me. Trigon, now having no use for me, has beaten me and stripped me of most of my powers so I can't heal myself enough to hold out for you. He said it's to teach me a lesson for trying to halt the inevitable but I had to buy you time. I fought as much as I could, as hard as I could, but it doesn't seem to have been enough and I'm sorry for that.

"I love you." A sob breaks past my lips as I rest my forehead against her cool one, her chakra gem digging into the skin above my eyebrow. "I know I didn't say it much and it's not because I didn't want to. I just felt like it was never enough, that there were so many things I could do to show it, that my actions would speak louder than my words, but I know that since my heart raced every time you said those words to me, I'd say them back one more time to you. I love you. I'll miss you, but don't let the grief swallow you whole. Keep fighting. Keep being the man I fell in love with. If not for yourself, for the team, then for me. As my dying wish. Please, Richard, do it for me. Stay strong for the others, protect our city, be the hero everyone knows and needs you to be. Mourn me if you must for a little while, that's okay, but you must move on.

"I love you," her voice whispers once more and then fades out as I assume she dies.

"No!" I cry out, crushing her to me once more. "No, no, no, no! Please! Please come back to me! Don't leave me!" I shout before quieting. "Please, I can't go on without you. How am I supposed to be the man I was with you if you're not here?" I whisper into her neck.

"Robin?" I hear from behind me. I come back to reality, realizing I'm not alone. "Is she-"

"She's dead. Trigon killed her," I grit through my teeth before sliding an arm under her knees, making sure to have as much of her bloody form covered by her white cape as I could before standing with her dangling from my arms. I turn and my team all gasp at the sight of our fallen member. "She tried to buy us time with Trigon after he'd stripped her of her powers," I say quietly before walking past them and out of the building, into the growing sunlight as the dark clouds begin to disperse, the flames begin to die out, and people begin to move again. No one notices us as I climb quietly into the T-Car, holding her dead body in my lap until we reach the destroyed tower. I don't hesitate taking her to the med lab, though I know there's nothing I can do.

Cyborg had insisted on trying to resuscitate her but it had done no good. She'd been dead too long. Despite how beat up we all were and how much of a mess the tower was, we cleaned her up, put her in a casket she'd had prearranged, something we all did in case of something like this, and had a small, proper funeral. I was the last to leave her grave and go out to it daily, taking fresh bouquets of gladiolus flowers, purple anemones, and orchids every few days. I sit beside her grave for hours at a time, just wanting to be next to her, wishing I could hold her once again. And I know, one day I will. One day, my Raven and I will be together again.

A/N: Okay, this was a lot sadder than I originally planned for it to be. I mean, I knew what I wanted to happen, but I found myself typing really sad things. I even teared up when I was reading through it for spelling and grammar mistakes (though I most likely missed a billion of them). I also did purposely refrain from really using any names even though I think it became obvious who I was referring to when I started talking about purple hair and eyes….whoops! Oh well, not changing it now. Hope you liked it!

Thx!

AMM


	2. Rewrite the Stars

**N/A: I heard this song and felt that it fit so well with Raven and Robin. I've never seen the entire movie of The Greatest Showman** **so this was not intentionally super inspired by it but having seen the clip of this song, I was inspired to do an AU-type story to fit with the lyrics. ****I do not own Teen Titans or the characters, sadly. They belong to DC Comics. I also don't own the beautiful song used in this chapter, as that it Zendaya and Zac Efron's incredible creation.**

**Thx!  
AMM**

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_Song: Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya_

_Richard Grayson is the adopted son of rich billionaire Bruce Wayne, a kid used to getting his way. Raven is an sorceress being used as a form of entertainment in a local circus. After meeting the mysterious Raven, Richard is intrigued to get to know her better, to be more then just friends. But are people from such different spectrums of the social ladder truly meant to be together?_

~Robin's POV~

_You know I want you_

_It's not a secret I try to hide_

_ "_Come on, Rae!" I shout as she storms off, unique violet hair blowing away from her face at the breeze she created with her pace. "Who cares what everyone else thinks? You and I are meant for each other! No one else matters!" She just continues walking away.

_I know you want me_

"Rae!" She walks across the ring, towards her bag and cloak that'd cover her bare shoulders.

I had finally convinced her to go out with me but a friend of Bruce's had seen us, had criticized her and my choice in a woman. It had torn right through Raven's defenses and sent her running, black sparks cackling from her fingertips.

She had been so excited, I was taking her to a book signing in an uptown bookstore. She'd chosen a black cropped tank top and long flowy lavender skirt with her normal ankle boots. She'd looked beautiful. She admitted she'd been waiting for me to ask her out ever since I wandered back into a circus for the first time since my parents death and seen her impress the audience. It hadn't been easy convincing Trigon, the man Raven was forced to work for, to allow her to go with me, but eventually, after writing an insanely large check, he allowed me to ask her.

_So don't keep saying our hands are tied_

"Rae, stop running from me, from us!" I begin to cross the floor of the ring after her, not even realized I'd set foot in it until I was already halfway across.

She spins on her heel, her skirt flaring around her, her eyes rimmed red but angry, the normal violet of her eyes turning more of a burgundy as she grew more upset by the minute. I knew I should run in fear, making the empath mad wasn't good, but I can't bring myself to care about my wellbeing. I have to fix this.

"Why? Why should I? People do care, Richard! They watch and point and sneer! Just accept that we are _not_ meant to be together! We'll never be able to be together with the different lives we lead! Deal with it!" She snaps at me, something snapping in the background and a crash follows.

_You claim it's not in the cards_

"People like you and I are not meant to be together! I am proof of that! My mother was human and tried being with a demon and here I am! I am living proof that our kinds shouldn't mix! I'm meant to be nothing more than the laughing stock of the town!

_But fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me_

"Besides, it doesn't matter anymore," her shoulders slump in defeat and her eyes return to their normal violet.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter anymore?" I ask, suddenly nervous. Word had been going around that Trigon was going to take the circus and move it out of Gotham City.

"Trigon signed a deal with someone else. We're leaving at the end of the week." She turns away and leans down, packing away her books and candles she always brings with her.

"What? And you didn't tell me this why?"

"Because it doesn't matter!" She shouts, looking back towards me. "Are you deaf? Blind? Did you not see what happened tonight? What we were called? It's better that I just leave anyways." She turns back towards her bag as she prepares to walk out of my life forever.

_But you're here in my heart_

_So who can stop me if I decide_

_That you're my destiny?_

She slings her bag up over her shoulder and throws her cloak over her arm as she goes to walk past me. At the last moment, I grab her arm and stop her. She looks to me, her eyes begging for me to hold her and let her go at the same time.

"I don't care what happened today and you shouldn't either. _I _choose you. Not anyone else. What they say doesn't matter. Why do you care so much?"

"Because my whole life has been speculated by everyone. I can't make my own decisions! There are consequences for everything I choose to do and not do, for people I choose to be with and not be with."

"Well I don't care about the consequences! No one will stop me from being with you!" I release her arm and grab her face instead, her hand coming up to grab my forearm, but not to pull me away. If anything, it's to stabilize her.

_What if we rewrite the stars?_

"Why can't we choose our own destiny? Why can't you make your own decisions?"

"My life doesn't work like that," she whispers, tears leaking down her cheeks.

_Say you were made to be mine_

"Why not? Make it work like that! Tell me you'll be mine. Let me know that I'm not the only one fighting for this! Fighting to be with you!"

_Nothing could keep us apart_

"If you just fought for us, believed in us, we could never be separated! Nothing would ever come between us again! We can be together if you just fight for this with me! Please Rae! We'll leave, go somewhere where we can be together!" I press my forehead to hers, the tip of her chakra gem lightly touching the middle of my forehead.

_You'd be the one I was meant to find_

"I've never felt this way about anyone, Rae. I've never felt so out of control, out of my depth, confused, excited, happy. But you come into my life, my boring, uneventful life and everything bursts to color, a new meaning added to my life now. Because of you. I never knew I was looking for you but now that I've found you, I can't believe I wasn't searching for you my entire life, that I have been able to live without you because now I can't picture my life without you in it."

_It's up to you_

_And it's up to me_

"This is our fate. It's up to us to decide. Take you life in your own hands, Rae. Make your own decisions. Live your own life. You choose. I choose. We both choose. So choose us.

_No one can saw what we get to be_

_So why don't we rewrite the stars?_

_Maybe the world could be ours_

_Tonight_

_ "_I can't choose my fate, my destiny, it's not apart of my prophecy."

"You can! You can change anything you want! You just have to believe in it and fight for it, Raven. Nobody makes our decisions for us except us. So rewrite your destiny. Change it to whatever way means we get to be together! We can be together tonight and every night afterwards! Just believe in it! Believe in us!" I beg her.

~Raven's POV~

_You think it's easy_

_You think I don't want to run to you_

He acts as if I don't understand how he feels, as if I'm numb to the sparks that fly when we touch, deaf to how my heart pounds when he stands close to me. His emotions surround me anytime we're within each others sights. I know how he feels. It normally blankets me in a warmth I've never felt before. But right now, I feel desperation and sadness rolling off of him, overwhelming me, making it hard to stay in control of the storm that's always raging inside of me.

"I want to! I want to so bad!" I cup his cheeks. "But you don't understand how impossible that is for me to do!"

_But there are mountains_

_And there are doors we can't walk through_

"What you're asking of me is physically impossible! I wish I could run away with you, forget everything here and only know you but that isn't something I can do. Richard, you have to think realistically for me. Consider what you're suggesting! How unrealistic that is! You have Bruce and all of your friends! Your title, your position in this world! You're saying you'd give all of that up for me. How do you know this is only a temporary feeling for you? You'll find someone else that fits into your world so much better than me."

_I know you're wondering why_

_Because we're able to be_

_Just you and me_

_Within these walls_

"I could never! You're it for me, Raven."

"Don't say tha-"

"Why? I'm saying it because it's true! Do you not believe me?" He demands to know, eyes shining with confusion and hurt.

"Of course I believe you! I believe this is what you want now but I don't believe it's what you'll want after it's all said and done." I explain quietly.

"So you don't believe me!" He pulls away and spins on his heel, hands moving to rest on his hips before one raises to rub the bridge of his nose. I remain where I am, letting this speak as an example that we don't work, letting him think that through.

"Why wouldn't we work out there if we work in here?" I hear him ask over his shoulder. I sigh.

_But when we go outside_

_You're gonna wake up and see that it was_

_Hopeless after all_

"You saw why less than an hour ago."

"I saw one person disapprove,"

"Exactly. _You_ saw one person. Everyone _I _saw looked disgusted. I could feel the revulsion brooding everywhere, seeping off of everyone. Only children were clueless to their parents emotions, the way they should be feeling."

_No one can rewrite the stars_

"Richard, face it. We aren't meant to be in any type of relationship, especially one that requires going outside of this tent. We can't change our fate. We can't change our destiny." The normal calm that surrounds Richard begins to darken and grow angry, the strong negative emotion feeding my storm, making it even more difficult to keep a cap on my feelings.

_How can you say you'll be mine_

_Everything keeps us apart_

"How can you say you choose me if you've never looked further then me? You saw me, decided I was fine and am your choice for now, but when you decide to look again, you'll find someone else. Besides, I doubt Bruce would approve and Bruce is your family. Bruce saved your life. Bruce understands you and I….I'm just a temporary infatuation.

"You ask me why I listen to what other people say and count that as what matters. I'm listening to your adoptive father, your family. I know he doesn't like me, Richard. He doesn't approve. I can practically feel the disappointment rolling off of him when he sees me or you mention my name.

"Richard, I can't come between you and Bruce. I'm not worth giving that up or making you both miserable when all three of us are in the same room together.

_And I'm not the one you were meant to find_

"Do you think I don't know that, that I haven't thought of that or considered that?" He asks, turning back towards me. "And I can't believe that you think I settled for you, like I just walked into this circus, a place you know I haven't been in since my parents death, saw a pretty girl, and thought, 'Oh, sure. She'll do,'"

"I'm not what you're meant for though. You're supposed to be with a pretty, normal girl who doesn't have a messed up past, who won't have a messed up future, who can be just what you need. That girl isn't me. It never was and never will be. I know what my destiny is. And even though I don't know yours, I know enough to be able to tell that I'm not going to be in it."

_It's not up to you_

_It's not up to me_

_When everyone tells us what we can be_

"I will never be able to escape my future and I will not drag you into it with me. Go live your life, find someone else."

"No! Don't tell me what to do with my life, especially if you're so set on not being apart of it!" He shouts angrily, emotionally.

Tears have slowly been forming in my eyes but one slips free at his words. I know I can't allow him to be with me and arguing with him about has been terrible, a nightmare come to life and I don't want to fight for us to be apart, but hearing him begin to come around makes everything suddenly very real.

He immediately notices and the anger surrounding him vanishes in an instant, dispersing only to be replaced with immense sadness. He approaches me and gently brushes the tear away.

"I'm sorry, Rae. I didn't mean to yell at you. But I can't seem to wrap my head around how adamant you are on not being together. I'm no empath like you, but I can tell you feel at least _something _for me."

_How can we rewrite the stars?_

_Say that the world can be ours_

_Tonight_

My shoulders droop in defeat. "It's not that I don't want to be together. It's just that I know we can't. I know what my future is. It's what it always has been and there's no way for me to stop it. What I'm adamant about is not dragging you into it. I refuse to allow you to be apart of the sick destiny I'm meant for. When I know what's coming, knowing I can't have you, how can I tell you that we can be together, that we can run away and be like a normal couple, like normal people?" He pulls me into a hug. I don't fight it, allowing him to pull me against his strong chest. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his middle as his wrap around my shoulders.

_All I want is to fly with you_

_All I want is to fall with you_

_So just give me all of you_

"Please, trust me. I just want to be with you. I want to be held by you, kissed by you, comforted by you. I want to laugh with you, snuggle with you, watch TV or read books with you. I just want to be together."

_It feels impossible_

"But that's not possible. What I want is impossible and unrealistic thinking." Richard pulls back enough that I can lift my head and look at him. I can see my words have sparked some kind of hope in him. That's not what I meant to do.

_It's not impossible_

"It is possible. If you want to be with me so bad, then make it happen. Hope. We _can _be together. We can have everything you just listed.

_Is it impossible?_

Despite knowing that I shouldn't, that hope is crippling and the most painful death. But I feel myself gaining hope that I can break away from my destiny, the prophecy that's hung over my head since I was born, and start my own destiny, choose my own fate.

_Say that it's possible_

Richard seems to sense that I'm coming around as he leans forward and presses gentle kisses to my forehead, my cheeks, nose and chin.

_How do we rewrite the stars?_

_Say you were made to be mine?_

"But how would it work? How would any of that work? I can't hope for something that doesn't stand a chance."

_Nothing can keep us apart_

'_Cause you are the one I was meant to find_

"We would make it work." He says against my forehead. "Nothing could keep us from being together if you just gave us your all, Raven. I told you, we're meant to be together. Even if that means we have to work at it to align it with our destinies.

_It's up to you _

_And it's up to me_

_No one can say what we get to be_

"We choose. It's our choice. Not Bruce's. Not Trigon's. Not Mrs. Stanton," I cringe at the woman's name, remembering her reprimanding Richard as if he'd said stupid in a classroom or spit his gum on the sidewalk. "It's our choice, Raven," he repeats.

_Why don't we rewrite the stars?_

_Changing the world to be ours_

"I….I….I-I want that. I want you," I admit. "I want to leave it all behind for you. To be with you." A handsome smile lights up his face as I glance around nervously, a strong anger nearly choking me from somewhere nearby and only one person has that type of anger. "T-take me away from here, please," I beg. The anger surges and I nearly collapse from trying to keep my own anger from answering the call. Actually, I don't know any _person _with that anger, but I know a demon that does.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Trigon roars, storming into the tent, all four eyes flaring, horns growing from his forehead, skin reddening, feet disappearing and growing into hooves.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL, SPOILED BRAT! YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE! YOU DON'T GET TO ESCAPE! THE PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED! IT IS YOUR ONLY DESTINY AND THEN DEATH CALLS FOR YOU!"

More anger surges from Trigon as he grows taller, still stomping towards us. I glance to Richard before crying out and falling to the ground, my head throbbing as anger screams to be unleashed, to fight back and meet it's creator at the same time.

"Raven!" Richard drops to my side and then shelters me with his body.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Trigon roars.

"NEVER!" Richard yells back.

"Noo..ooo," I groan as I fight to rise back up. Knowing this will end with either Richard dead or our secret released, I concentrate as hard as I can and force my black magic to envelope Richard, moving him far away from Trigon and myself. I trap him in a black box as Trigon stops in front of me.

He kneels in front of me, warm, wretched breath blowing across my face as he begins to speak. "You dare hope you could escape me?" I groan and press my forehead into the sand of the ring floor when he grabs my hair and yanks me up, my hair immediately lengthening at his touch, his markings beginning to cover my body the longer he holds on, the S burning into my forehead, causing my head to hurt even more. I would swear it'd explode if Trigon would let it happen.

"Is it so bad to hope?" I whimper.

"'Hope is crippling and the most painful death,'" he reminds me before smiling sinisterly and yanking me up, though not allowing me to stand, and drags me after him, slowly changing back into his disguise as a man. I cry out and see Richard banging his fists against the box surrounding him.

_You know I want you_

_It's not a secret I try to hide_

_But I can't have you_

_We're bound to break and_

_My hands are tied_

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**A/N: So this was a lot longer and again ended rather dark which I wasn't intentionally planning on but it just kind of happened and fit. **

**Thx!  
AMM**


	3. Dark Side

**A/N: Everytime I hear this song, I always think of Raven. There are a lot of songs, actually that make me think of Raven when I'm listening to them. I do not own **_**Dark Side**_** or any other song by Kelly Clarkson because that means I have talent and clearly, I do not.**

** Thx!**

** AMM**

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_Song: Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson_

_ Raven is willing to try a relationship with Robin and even though he knows many things about her that others don't, that doesn't mean he knows everything and she's afraid that her dark and demonic side will scare him away when she loses control._

~Raven's POV~

_There's a place that I know_

_It's not pretty there and few have ever gone_

Even though he knows me better than anyone I've ever met, my mind, my thoughts, my feelings, are all dark-scary places to go or acknowledge. They threaten to consume me when I'm unable to reign in my control over them.

_If I show it to you now_

_Will it make you run away?_

Can I trust that if I were to allow you to witness me in any other way but stoic and cold, that you'd stay with me? That'd you continue to love me as you claim you do? I don't like doubting you but I'm so used to being hurt and having to deal with the rampaging emotions that coincide with heartbreak and pain. Would that scare you off? I know there's so little that truly frightens you, but would seeing my true self change that, or at least give you something to fear when I lose control?

_Or will you stay_

_Even if it hurts_

I know I can be cold, hurtful, sharp-tongued when I'm upset. But will you prevail through the anger and help me through it? Will you stay by my side even if I hit a nerve or say something I shouldn't? The moment I get my head on straight, I promise to apologize for saying what I shouldn't have.

_Even if I try to push you out_

_Will you return?_

Will you chase after me when I think I'm doing best by pushing you away? I need someone willing to help me through it, not someone who will allow me to push everyone away and handle the burden of my emotions myself, even when I say that's what I want. It's not. I need help. I know that. I can't do it alone.

_And remind me who I really am_

_Please remind me who I really am_

You've always been so good at bringing me back from the edge, from any dark place I may be in. You tame my anger, calm my fury. If I were to lose you, nothing would be able to stop me from letting my inner demon take over. Nothing would keep me under control anymore. You're the ring master to my raging lion. You always know exactly what to say and how to act to help me. Please don't leave me. I wouldn't be able to manage without you.

_Everybody's got a dark side_

_Do you love me?_

_Can you love mine?_

My demon is able to be kept under tight lock and key when your around but when you're gone, it runs free in my mind. No amount of meditation seems to help anymore. If there were ever to come a day where I couldn't handle that demon and it got loose, swallowed any possible good in me, would you still love me? Even if I wasn't the same, would you fight to bring me back? Would you love my dark side?

_Nobody's picture perfect_

_But we're worth it_

_You know that we're worth it_

If anyone in this relationship is close to being perfect, it's you. You handle almost everything with a serene calm, a logical outlook. I try to express no emotion, try not to give away if something's bothering me. I don't claim to be perfect. I know that I'm not. But promise me we're worth it. We're worth it, right?

_Will you love me?_

_Even with my dark side?_

Can you promise that you'll love me? Even with that cold and bitter side I've developed to keep people out?

_Like a diamond_

_From black dust_

I know I have the potential to be more but no one looks for the diamond hidden in dark sand. They all want the diamond in the rough. They want the diamond that has been through the rough damage. I haven't been through many rough situations, managing to be physically unscathed. Emotionally though, I'm surrounded by a pitch black fog that no one is willing to look through to see me standing lost in the middle.

_It's hard to know_

_What can become_

_If you give up_

How can anyone know if they don't bother to look? How come you looked? What made you care enough to sift through the darkness to find me? The _real _me? I can't figure it out and my head wants to question it while my heart begs me to just let it be. Please don't stop looking.

_So don't give up on me_

_Please remind me who I really am_

Don't stop looking of I'll be buried beneath the ever-present darkness in my life. Please. Don't stop. I'll suffocate and change into the monster I don't want to be. If you can keep searching for me, calming me, reminding me, I'll forever know I'm safe with you.

_Don't run away_

_Don't run away_

_Promise you'll stay_

Please don't give up on me. I'll die without you.

With all my love,

Raven

* * *

**A/N: I hadn't actually planned to have this be so one sided, a letter. But after I realized how I was writing it, I decided not to actually bring Robin into it and allow Raven to write him the note, promising him that if he can look past her dark side, she's willing to be with him as long as he doesn't give up on her. **

**Thx!**

**AMM**


	4. Mine

**A/N: So, I thought, for a change, we could have a happy story being told through the lyrics. I honestly adore the first two chapters, the third one was okay, and even though the third one wasn't necessarily a dark story or anything, they still aren't super happy, boy gets girl stories. So, we're changing that….for this chapter. **

**Thx!**

**AMM**

**P.S. I don't own any Taylor Swift songs, regrettably past ones or thankfully new ones (I personally can't stand her new music)**

**P.P.S Raven's looking back on her life so the bolded parts are the past and the normal parts are current. **

* * *

_Song: Mine by Taylor Swift_

_Raven has always been afraid of love after watching her parent's marriage fall apart and her mother pass away from her fathers abuse. She wasn't looking for love, not even looking for a relationship, but a chance meeting changes her whole world and she learns that love is real and can hold people together instead of pushing them apart. _

~Raven's POV~

_**You were in college working part time waiting tables**_

**I walk in from warm summer air and take a seat in the corner of the small town diner. The sound of yelling immediately hits my ears and I watch as a couple across the way argues and fight with each other, reminding me all too much of what I have tried to run away from and forget. **

**A handsome young man with spiky jet-black hair and sparkling blue eyes steps up to my table with his head turned down and focusing on the notepad he's flipping open. **

_**Left a small town, never looked back**_

**I can tell just from glancing at him that he has been looking to escape his life just as I have but I glance to the table before his eyes can lift to meet mine.**

_**I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling**_

"**What can I-" I glance back up and he stops in the middle of his sentence, eyes holding mine as I wait for him to finish. I told myself I can't fall for someone. Love only hurts you. My mom always claimed that she loved my dad but you can't love someone who's abusive, physically, verbally, sexually, or emotionally. I can't put myself through that. **

_**Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts**_

**What would be the point if I were only to end up getting myself hurt? There's no way I can do that to myself. And yet, I fell.**

_I say, "Can you believe it?"_

"Can you believe it?" I ask him from against his chest, looking at the ceiling as light filters through the window and catches the dust particles falling in the air.

_As we're lying on the couch_

"Believe what?" his voice rasps from beneath me.

"That I finally believe."

_The moment, I could see it_

"Believe what?" he repeats, only this time with a different intent.

_Yes, yes, I can see it now_

"In us,"

_**Do you remember we were sitting there, by the water?**_

"**This place is gorgeous," I admire as I look around, following him down a nearly invisible path. From his hand hangs an old wicker basket with our romantic dinner stashed inside. His other hand occupies mine and helps me step over large rocks and tree limbs that try to block our way. One snags on my dress, putting a small brown line along the white hem but I pay it no mind as I free myself and follow him. **

**We reach the dock and walk out across it, releasing my hand so he can unfold the blanket we brought to sit on. After sitting, he unpacks the basket and we eat a small and simple dinner of turkey and cheese sandwiches with an apple split between us and cliché chocolate dipped strawberries. Not long after finishing, I crawl in between his legs and rest against him as we look up at the now starry night sky. **

_**You put your arms around me for the first time**_

**Knowing how much I don't like excessive touching, he hesitantly wraps his arms around my shoulders and across my chest, just below my chin. I tense but relax rather quickly, surprising both of us. **

_**You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter**_

"**I'm surprised you finally agreed to let me take you out." **

"**I just don't want to get hurt, my dad did that enough," my hand reaches for the red marks on the inside of each of my wrists where he left marks. He had claimed they were birthday gifts. Messed up idea of a gift, branding your daughter with a fire poker while his best friend held me down and felt me up. Who wants their dad's initials branded into their wrists anyways?**

"**He was a careless man who clearly didn't know what a wonderful daughter he had." Richard reassures, pressing a kiss to my temple. **

_You are the best thing that's ever been mine_

"What did I do to deserve you?" I whisper though I know he heard me.

"Absolutely nothing. It is I who does not deserve you," he whispers back just as quietly.

_**Flash forward and we're taking on the world together**_

"**Are you sure you have those?" I ask from the doorway of his-our house. **

"**Yeah, yeah, I got it," he pants as he rushes towards me with boxes of stuff from my apartment in his hands. I giggle as he runs into the house with my possessions. Then I see that he grabbed my book boxes. No wonder he was struggling!  
**

_**And there's a drawer of my things as your place**_

**I pull out the drawer that he set aside a month or so ago when I first started sleeping over regularly and clean the stuff out. I need to put other things there. **

"**What should I put in my drawer?" I call to him. **

"**How about those skimpy little lace sets I saw you packing?" he calls back hopefully, causing me to laugh again.**

"**You wish!" **

_**You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded**_

**I open a box sitting on the bed, not reading the outside and am met with the last family photo my family took laying on top. I had only been nine when the picture was taken. My parents are sitting on opposite sides of our porch stairs, me in the middle, none of us smiling or looking happy. This was right after things got bad. **

**I feel arms gently snake around my middle and I jump, but Richard was expecting it as his hand reaches to wrap around mine while I continue to stare at the miserable picture. **

"**You're not like him," he says as I glance over my father. I look nothing like him except for my almost sickly pale skin color. My temper matches his, though, and I fear that one day I'll become the sick, twisted monster that he is.**

**I move my eyes to my mother, trying not to cower in the picture. My raven black hair and amethyst eyes match my mother, only I have my ends died the same color as my eyes. I look like a miniature version of her. "You aren't like her, either," Richard whispers. I hope I'm not. She was too scared to get out, too afraid and he killed her. Set our house on fire and locked her in their bedroom, chained to the bed. She was too scared to get out and save herself or me. I have burn scars from that fire between my shoulder blades from where a burning piece of a doorframe fell on me. **

_**You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes**_

"**You are completely different from either of them. I see it everyday. We will never be like your parents."**

_**But we got bill to pay**_

**I rub his neck as he holds his head in his hands over the piling bills sitting on the table in front of him. Even with both of us working two jobs, we still can't seem to afford to stay on top of our bills. **

"**Are you sure the bookstore paid you?"**

"**Richard, you cashed the check yourself. Same amount as always. Same with the herbal remedies stall in the market." He nods but I still know it didn't relieve any stress.**

_**We got nothing figured out**_

**We've lived together for six months now and I'm still not sure if this will last but I try to push the thoughts away as he spins me in the living room, dramatically bending me back as we dance like fools. **

_**When it was hard to take**_

**I push my fingers through his hair as he sleeps quietly with his head in my lap, paying no attention to the TV but instead at the man before me. How do I tell him that the herbal remedies stall is closing and I can't find another job?**

_**Yes, yes, this is what I thought about**_

We're back on the dock, our feet dangling over the side with my shoulders tucked under his arm.

_Do you remember all the city lights on the water?_

From where we sit, we can see the fireworks exploding in the sky, reflecting on the surface of the lake in front of us.

_You saw me start to believe for the first time_

I can feel his eyes on me as I watch the fireworks rippling across the lake and listening to the peaceful chirp of crickets following the sound of the boom. I feel free, at peace, happy with the world, and I think that this might actually work.

_You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter_

A large set of fireworks goes off when I suddenly feel myself getting pushed into the lake. I shout out and grab on to Richard, pulling him in with me, both completely dressed. When I surface, I hear him laughing and look over, watching him struggle to catch his breath as I glare at him.

"Good reflexes, Rae!" I splash him before pulling my soaked dress over my head and throwing it up at the dock. I'm left in nothing but white undergarments and his eyes darken while he looks at me. I raise an eyebrow and he meets the challenge by pulling his shirt up and over his head, tossing it up onto the deck by my dress. Normally, I'd cower and hide myself, my scars, from anyone's sight but I trust Richard. Plus, he's seen all of them before and has made himself well acquainted with the marred features of my body.

_You are the best thing that's ever been mine_

He grabs my hand when I go to splash more water at him and pulls me to him, pressing our chests together as our legs tangle. His feet touch the bottom, the lake not being too deep by the dock, so I don't have to worry about drowning or anything.

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine," he whispers to me.

_**And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM**_

**He paces in front of me like a wild animal, stressing me out further, reminding me of my dad before the storm would start. **

_**As everything was slipping right out of our hands**_

"**How am I going to afford this?" he asks, pushing his hands through his hair. His shirt has become untucked and wrinkled, his hair going in all different directions. **

"**I-I don't know-" I stutter, knowing it won't help.**

"**No shit, Rae!" He turns and yells at me, scaring me away and into a corner. I cower and watch his anger diminish instantly, seeing me back away from him in fear turning his anger to regret. "Rae-I'm so sor-" I rush out of the house, running down the steps and out into the pouring rain. I knew I should've kept my father's visit a secret. I'm sure I could've found a way to fix all the holes he put in the walls, the broken furniture and windows. I just stressed Richard out more. God, I'm an awful person. He won't love me anymore. **

_**I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street**_

**I hear the screen door bounce shut as Richard comes after me. **

"**Rae! Rae, wait! Raven!**

_**Braced myself for the goodbye**_

**His hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around. I keep my eyes on the ground, waiting for the words I've always dreaded. **

_**Then you took me by surprise**_

"**Please don't go," he says over the thundering rain, rain that, only minutes ago, matched his mood. I look up in surprise at his words. "I don't want you to go. I can't lose you too. We'll figure it out. We'll fix the damage. At least he didn't hurt you." Richard had gotten home just as Dad had stormed out, thankfully leaving me unharmed. **

_**You said, "I'll never leave you alone,"**_

"**Remember, we promised each other. I won't leave you and you won't leave me. I don't want you to go, Raven. I love you with all that I am. You are the best thing that has ever been mine." **

_You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water," _

"I remember how we felt sitting by the water, that first time you let me take you out and we came here."

"_And every time I look at you, it's like the first time."_

"And every time I look at you, it's like the first time. You never cease to amaze me, Raven. I have never loved anyone the way I love you and never will. You are so beautiful to me, inside and out. I hope you understand that."

"_I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter."_

"I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. I knew from the moment I met you that your life had been hard, that you weren't looking for a relationship, for love, but neither was I, and yet, we found each other. I'm in a lake, halfway naked with a girl who used to refuse to roll up her sleeves. I love every single inch of you and every other thing about you. Don't ever change."

"_She is the best thing, that's ever been mine."_

"You are the best thing," he reaches under the water and into his pocket, pulling his hand back out with a ring. "That's ever been mine," I gasp as I move my left hand towards him, allowing him to slide the ring on my finger without either of us actually saying a thing. I lean forward and wrap myself around him, hugging him tight.

_Hold on, make it last_

I don't ever want this moment to end. I just want to stay wrapped in his arms for forever.

_Hold on, never turn back_

There is no going back after this for me. I don't think we will ever be the disaster that my parents were, we'll forget everything around us and behind us and focus only on our future.

_Do you believe it?_

I can't believe he wants to be with me, love me, marry me.

_We're gonna make it now_

We'll hold on together. That's all I've ever wanted without knowing it.

_And I can see it_

I can see our whole life together. Happy marriage, big house, two boys, a perfect life.

_Yeah, yeah, I can see it now._

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that took way longer then I was expecting it to but I really like the outcome of this one. I know they're both pretty OC, but I like it all the same. **

**Thx!**

**AMM**


	5. Queen of Mean

**A/N: So this song is actually from a children's movie off of Disney Channel but when I first heard it, I didn't actually know that. It came over the radio and I thought it was catchy and would work well in an AU for Raven and Robin. So, ignore the fact that this is off of a kid's movie and just enjoy the story as a separate entity entirely!**

**I don't own any of the music or characters from this story. Sarah Jeffery or Disney or whoever owns the song. I haven't even seen the movie!**

**Thx!**

**AMM**

* * *

_Song: Queen of Mean by Sarah Jeffery_

_Princess Raven of Azarath has been in love with her childhood best friend, Prince Richard of Gotham, for years and is set to marry him when she comes of age, but after hearing him telling his father he'd rather marry Princess Starfire of Tamaran, Raven calls off the engagement and chooses instead to ascend the throne alone, ruling by herself while letting her secret, dark heritage finally show and take her over, leading as the Queen of Mean_

* * *

How could he? How could he do this to me? We've been courting for years! Sneaking kisses and midnight dates for even longer! And he wants to marry that-that bubbly, obnoxious bimbo? Princess Starfire is nice and all but is too peppy and happy-go-lucky, with her head in the clouds instead of focusing on learning how to become a proper Princess, how to rule when her father passes away. Besides, I've known Richard since we were only a few years old. Even though his father and my mother signed a marriage contract the moment I was born, we never felt forced to love each other. It just happened naturally. Or….maybe that's only been how I've seen it.

Even being an empath, Richard still knows how to deflect his emotions. He's been one of the only people to know how to hide how he really feels from me. I mean, he's only known of my abilities since we first met.

My mother doesn't talk about it much, but there was no denying my demon heritage after the moment she found out she was pregnant with me. One night, while my mother had been traveling between kingdoms, her caravan was raided and she was raped by the demon king, Trigon, impregnating her with me. Upon learning I was a girl, Trigon lost all interest and my mother and I have lived our lives in solitude, keeping most people at bay. Except for Richard. He was always there for me. But there have always been the dark thoughts, the cruel possibilities, and they always terrified me. It was bad enough with my unnaturally colored hair, a deep amethyst to match my equally unnatural eyes, my ashen skin, and glowing pair of extra eyes when I'm angry, to give away that I'm no ordinary girl. Not to mention the markings that decorates my body every year on my birthday, signifying that my demonic powers are growing stronger with age.

I'm easily casted out in groups, known for looking creepy in my dark colors that suit my features along with my love for reading instead of watching competitions, but that never seemed to keep Richard away. If he noticed I was uncomfortable, he'd lead me somewhere else to do something I'd rather prefer. When did things go wrong? Why did things change? How did I not notice?

_I'm so tired of pretending_

_Where's my happy ending?_

I always knew not to believe in fairytales, in happy endings but being around Richard gave me the poison of hope. I always believed when I was with him that I'd actually have the chance at my own happy ending, something my mom and I both believed we'd never have.

_I followed all the rules_

_I drew inside the lines_

Is this karma for something? I don't remember doing something to terribly wrong? I mean, yeah, I've used my powers to play a few tricks on the guards, but no ones ever been injured! I meditate every morning and evening, do my control exercises, try to keep my powers a secret, so why am I losing the only chance at happiness I had?

_I never asked for anything that wasn't mine_

I never would've been romantic with Richard if I'd known he wanted someone else. I respect myself too much to be second place.

_I waited patiently for my time_

_But when it finally came_

_He called her name_

I hadn't meant to eavesdrop on King Bruce talking to Richard but I'd been walking past when I heard loud arguing. King Bruce was fighting with his son, over what, I didn't know. At least, not at first. Bruce had been telling Richard that he and I needed to be out in public together more, seen together more, but Richard had argued against it. At first I had assumed it was because Richard and I have always hated being forced into doing anything in our relationship that didn't come naturally. But when Bruce had asked why not, Richard shouted out that it was because of Starfire.

My heart shattered, numerous decorative items lining the hall exploded but I teleported away before either of them could investigate the noise.

How could he? He wanted Starfire? Since when? And Richard's had never been one to stand up to his father. He normally accepts anything with quiet resignation.

_And now I feel this overwhelming pain_

_I mean it's in veins_

_I mean it's in my brain_

I can't _not_ feel the hurt. Everything reminds me of him because we did everything together. My meditation has tripled in the amount of time it takes, I can't keep as firm of a grip on my emotions, I can't sleep, Richard hasn't even tried to come see me for days, which is so unlike him.

_My thoughts are running in a circle like a toy train_

_I'm kind of like a perfect picture with a broken frame_

_I know exactly who to blame_

It all just keeps playing on repeat, like a record playing the same depressing song over and over again. I try not to let my mother notice, to let any of my teachers see, but I feel frayed along the edges, ready to fully tear apart at moments notice. And it's all his fault. I can't bring myself to blame Starfire, it's my own fault for never noticing, but if Richard truly feels nothing for me, then he's led me on for years.

_I never thought of myself as mean_

_I always thought that I'd be __**the **__queen_

_And there's no in between_

I know I have demon heritage, despite hiding it from the public and staff, I've also never completely ignored the fact. I know I'm rather stiff and seemingly emotionless, but I would never have considered myself mean. Now, though, I snap at everyone, don't bother to hide the glowing eyes that appear above my own, pulsing in a deep, fiery red.

I'm just filled with so much anger! _I _was supposed to be his queen. Not her! _I _was supposed to rule by his side. _I _was supposed to be his love. Not her! Why her? W-why not me?

But there's no being his queen and then not. I'll still be the queen of this kingdom. I turn twenty-one in two days and that means the crown is passed down to me. I'll rule alone, with no king, no help, no support. I'll be my own person all by myself.

'_Cause if I can't have that_

_Then I would be the leader of the dark and the bad_

No more hiding my demon heritage, no more pretending to be the perfect, yet different, princess I am. It's time to let it all out. No more hiding. No more concealing. No more practiced control. Let them see my anger. Let me feel their fear. Anything to bury my hurt.

_Now there's a devil on my shoulder_

_Where the angels used to be_

_And he's calling me the Queen of Mean_

A deep, dark voice rings out in my head the more emotions I let myself feel, the more I reveal myself to everyone else. A male's voice, telling me to show them, to prove to them who I truly am and instead of refusing, I accept the orders with open arms. The sun begins to show less and less during the day. The temperatures drop. The colors fade. Everything darkens. People cower in their homes. My mother refuses to look at me. Richard hasn't been seen in the kingdom for two weeks now. But now I am Queen and he is not allowed to come into my kingdom.

_Being nice was my pastime_

_But I've been hurt for the last time_

_And I won't ever let another person take advantage of me_

Those who plead to me for mercy, my teachers, my favorite cooks as a child, my mother at the beginning, do nothing but anger me now.

No more being nice. That's only ever earned me ostracism and rejection and hurt. I can't be hurt if no one gets close.

_The anger burns my skin, third-degree_

_Now my blood's boiling hotter then a fiery sea_

I no longer find happiness in my books, in my favorite dresses, or in my scented candles. Nothing brings me joy, only hate. I hate those books for tricking me into thinking I could have a happy ending. I hate those dresses that I thought made me look beautiful. I hate those candles that reminded me to calm myself. There's no reason to be calm anymore. I can't do it.

_There's nobody getting close to me_

_They're gonna bow to the Evil Queen_

_Your nightmare's my dream_

My mother remains locked away in her room, afraid of what I've become and distraught at how I've changed her kingdom. But it's my kingdom. These people obey me. What they consider the worst, I consider the best.

_Just wait until they fall to my wicked schemes_

They'll all accept it at some point. Eventually the fear will fade and they will grow accustomed to my way of things, there's no doubt about it. I'll just have to give them time.

_Something's pulling me_

_It's so magnetic_

Each day starts with the stronger thirst for vengeance, an even bigger feeling of burning anger and hatred. Just as I'd hoped, I no longer feel the pain, only the dangerous inferno of my fury waiting to burn everything to the ground.

_My body is moving_

_Unsure where I'm headed_

When I wake, I find myself on my balcony, facing the kingdom, or more importantly, the castle spires of Gotham in the distance. I don't know what causes this, I've never been a sleepwalker, but it only fuels my anger more.

How dare my body bring me out here, facing his kingdom!

_All of my senses have left me defenseless_

_This darkness around me_

_Is promising vengeance_

These morning started on my balcony seem to pulse with the promise of making Richard pay. The voice in my head is now often confused as my own. My hair's grown longer, my face grown sharper, my eyes darker, and my mouth sinister.

_The price that I'm willing to pay is expensive_

_There's nothing to lose_

_When you're lonely and friendless_

The voice whispers that I can have my vengeance, my payback for the hurt. He was foolish enough to send me an invitation to his wedding, the idiot. I'll go, but I'm bringing the fight of his life with me. He better be prepared.

_So my only interest is showing this princess_

_That I am the queen_

_And my rein will be endless_

I teleport through the floor, nothing but a wave of my hand knocking the guards unconscious as I stalk towards the doors leading to the ballroom. I know this castle almost as well as I know my own, having spent many days in it before. The closer I get, the darker my grey dress turns to black, the longer my hair grows down my back, the sharper my heels sound against the floor, the glowing red eyes taking a permanent spot above the previous two, the more powerful I feel while my humanity unknowingly slips away.

_I want what I deserve_

"You!" I growl, throwing the door open, my voice no longer human, but gravelly and rough, a demon's voice.

_I want to rule the world_

"Raven?" Richard questions from the alter, his eyes unusually red, the same hue as my own. But an energy pulses off of him. It's not human something has taken over him. But I can't bring myself to care.

_Sit back and watch them learn_

"You lied to me! You led me on! And then decided to invite me to the wedding? To what, rub it in my face?" I seethe, marching down the aisle, the smell of smoke hitting my nostrils but I ignore it, not bothering to pay attention to the chairs set up that begin to burn or the people who scream in pain or fear.

_It's finally my turn_

Richard shakes his head slightly as I get closer.

"I-I never-"

"Save your breath, Dick!"

Only feet away from him, the red leaves his eyes and the steel blue I fell for years ago greets me. My footsteps halt, as he looks around the room confused, looking over his shoulder at his cowering bride who's hiding behind him, to his puzzled father off to the side, to the inferno of the room and terrified people, to my scowling face, squinted eyes, and balled fists.

"Rae? What did you do?" he steps towards me and my hand flies out, an invisible force wrapping around his throat and lifting him off the ground.

"What did _I_ do?" he doesn't struggle much in my grasp but does look to me in shock at my voice. I throw every emotion I have; every memory of pain, his way and his head knocks back at the mental assault as I release him, dropping him to the ground.

He clutches at his head, then at the ground before lifting his head to me, tears spilling down his face.

"Rae-"

"Silence!" I shout.

"No! I had no clue! I remember feeling this dizziness hit me and then nothing! I remember nothing! I don't want to marry Starfire! I consider her a good friend but it was you I want! Always you!"

"NO!" The voice in my head screams and I grasp my temple, my knees buckling under the immense pain suddenly shooting through my body.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" the voice shouts.

"Raven!" I hear someone shout from in front of me.

"SHE WAS ALMOST THERE! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Rings throughout the blazing ballroom.

Someone grabs me and pulls me close, the moment my head automatically tucks into his shoulder, I begin to relax, knowing he has me, that I'm safe and all will be right.

"NO! YOU COST ME EVERYTHING!" I suddenly jerk from Richard's touch and sprawl across the floor, a sharp pain echoing through my body as I feel like I'm being torn in half. I scream in pain as the pain intensifies before I feel it all leave my body, like something breaking away and taking all the anger with it as I collapse back against the floor.

"Trigon!" People shout in the distance. I crack my eyes open blearily to watch a red cloud roaring throughout the room before flying out the door.

"Raven!" Richard pops into my view, holding me against him.

"I don't feel angry anymore," I sigh out as I struggle to keep my eyes open, feeling incredibly drained and weak.

"Rae, stay with me!"

"This explains it," I hear someone say from over Richard's shoulder.

"Explains what?"

"Why she was being so tyrannical. Her father possessed her but it must've been a slow process, possessing her more and more and building on her anger. I was hoping by extending the invitation to her, she'd show and break you out of whatever was going on with you. Starfire is a nice girl and all and I know you consider her a close friend, but you were going on and on about you and Raven's engagement to suddenly change your mind. I knew something was wrong."

"His eyes," I whisper.

"What?" the voice asks.

"His eyes were glowing red when I came in. Like-" I weakly reach up to touch my forehead, a consistent throbbing where my extra eyes should be but I nearly pass out in relief to find them gone.

"I never saw any difference in his eyes."

"I sensed the magic," I groan as I drop my hand back down.

"Well, it seems to have worked. You came in and it's like whatever spell was on him was lifted. And if his eyes were red like Trigon's, then Trigon must've put him under a spell so it was easier to possess you." I nod but sink deeper into Richard's arms.

"We just need to get you all healed up and then we can fix all of this. Right this mess." Richard promises and I know that everything will be all right.

No more Queen of Mean.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, when I said "a red cloud roaring throughout the room" picture Voldemort leaving Professor Quirrell's body in the first Harry Potter movie. And I feel like this one was way more story and way longer then I originally planned….but I think it turned out okay. **

**Thx!**

**AMM**


	6. Panic Room

**A/N: I've wanted to do this song for awhile in this fic. I absolutely adore this song and it's creepy-feel to the lyrics. Very AU on this one, like the others aren't, but I like it. I also did bring Batman into this one because Joker's in here too so I felt like it should be in Gotham City with Batman and Robin still working under him. So, I hope you enjoy!**

**Thx!**

**AMM**

* * *

~Robin's POV~

"Robin," a gravelly voice crackles through my earpiece.

"Yeah?"

"There's talk on the police frequency of a new girl working under Joker, just been apprehended. Gordon's called for one of us to go down there."

"And let me guess, it's gonna be me going down isn't it?" "Yes. They've taken her to Arkham, put her in the Intensive Care Unit." I jump off the rooftop I've been surveying on and land in the alleyway, jumping on my bike and zooming for Arkham Island.

"The psych ward?"

"They're claiming she has magical powers and is loonier then Harley."

"Wow, that's saying something." I comment as I speed across the lone entrance leading to the asylum.

"Yes, so check it out, see what's going on, and report back."

"You got it, boss," and the line goes dead. I screech to a halt in front of the ICU and strap my helmet to the seat, heading up the stairs two at a time.

"Robin!" one of the guards greets as I push the main door open.

"Hey, Jerald," I greet in return, grinning at him.

"You hear the new girl?"

"Yep," I say, popping the p as Jerald turns and guides me to her cell, her padded cell.

"Ooh, super cooky if she's in one of these."

"Oh yeah, the chick's weird. She's in a straight jacket too. Gotta keep her hands trapped. Some kinda witch. A lot darker then J's other girl, Harley."

"I'm not working for him!" I hear her shout from the other side of the door.

"Good hearing," I comment, glancing towards her cell door.

"Told ya, she's a witch."

"I am not!" she growls as I open the door, seeing a girl sitting in the corner on her knees, pale skin, shoulder length violet hair, a small red jewel on her forehead, and four glowing red eyes.

"Woah, she didn't look like that earlier."

"Let me go," she hisses, her eyes brightening with rage. "I don't work for this clown you keep referring to."

"Shock her," Jerald requests into his radio.

Prongs on her straight jacket shock the girl harshly, her screams in pain echoing throughout the room as she falls over onto the floor, her body seizing too and fro form the volts shocking her system.

"Enough! That's too much voltage!" I shout and step closer to her as the jacket fizzles out and she slumps against the floor in relief, her eyes opening but only two appearing this side, a deep violet that rivals her hair color. They're wide with fear and wet with unshed tears as she looks between Jerald and I.

"What makes you say she's working for Joker?"

"Her skin, it's stained pale like the other freaks and her hair's dyed purple."

"Are you sure it's dye?"

"What else could it be?" I stare at the girl as she closes her eyes and rolls towards the wall, only now noticing that she doesn't seem to have pants on.

"Uh, where are her pants?"

"She wasn't wearing any. Just this leotard thing."

I shed my cape and drape it over her legs, her gasp bouncing off the wall as she starts.

"Hey, hey, I didn't mean to scare you. It's my cape, cover you up some." Her head turns to look over her shoulder at me where she simply nods before lying back down.

"Give us a moment, Jerald," I request.

"You sure? She may seem docile now but she's a crazed lunatic when she gets her energy back."

"Yes, now go," I snap, my eyes never leave the girl.

We sit in silence for maybe five minutes when she rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling, tears leaking down the side of her face and into her hairline.

"What's your name?" I ask her, barely keeping my hand where it is as I feel the sudden urge to wipe her tears away. This dark girl intrigues me.

"Raven," she whispers.

"Why are you in here? What'd Joker do to you?"

Her head swivels to look at me, a scowl forming on her lips. "Nothing," she growls, her amethyst eyes flashing red before she looks away. "I didn't even know who the Joker was until this morning." Something in her voice makes me want to believe her, the broken tone.

"Then why do you look like this?"

"What, like a freak?" she snaps.

"Different," I correct.

"I was born this way. Nothing artificial."

"Born with violet hair?"

"Yes,"

"And ashy skin?"

"Yes,"

"What are you doing in Gotham?"

"My mother was from here. I was hoping to find out more about her, maybe see if I had any family here."

"Ah," I nod and glance around as the lights begin to flicker and the room seems to stretch.

"The hell?" I ask, standing up.

_Hell raising, hair raising_

_I'm ready for the worst_

I glance at the girl as electricity zaps through the room, the hairs rising on my arms and the back of my neck. I get in a battle stance, ready for her to spring upwards or something. I look at her as she looks around the room, unsure if she's feigning her fear or not.

_So frightening, face whitening_

_Fear that you can't reverse_

Her pale face has somehow managed to pale even more and she curls in on herself. "No, no, no, no, not again. Please, I just calmed back down, no, no, no." She sucks in a breath as the room returns to normal and she unfurls slowly, her head rocking backward.

_My phone has no signal_

_It's making my skin crawl_

_The silence is so loud_

I go to speak into my earpiece but all I get is static. I glance at Raven who has opened her eyes and they're white pits, a bright white shining from them as the light bulb above is absorbed in black energy along with things that begin floating out of my belt. Not a sound is made as I simply watch the objects float towards her and circle around her from above, almost like a mobile above a baby's crib.

_The lights spark and flicker_

_With monsters much bigger_

_Then I can control now_

She sits up and the sharp edge of my birdarang cuts through the straps of her straight jacket. I go to move forward but find that I can't. The moment her arms are free, she shucks the jacket off, pulls my cape up around her and crawls to the corner, curling up in a ball and sobbing, the floating objects dropping to the ground as her eyes return to violet. "It's getting really hard to control myself," she whispers and I don't think twice as I move towards her, my feet no longer stuck to the floor.

"What are you?" She just looks up at me with a sad smile before I'm wrapped in black energy and pushed out the door, a large slam following.

"Is she loose? Did you cut her free?"

"She got free herself," I shrug. "I don't believe she's working for Joker. She's far too afraid and claims to have been born that way, not pushed into a vat of acid. She also claims that she's here looking for her mother's family. I'm not sure how much of it I believe but she's not working for Joker." The guards look between themselves, nodding hesitantly before rushing back into the room.

"No! Don't! Please, I'm not hurting anyone! Don't do it! Please!" her sobs echo out into the hall and it takes everything in me not to turn around and help her. "Robin!" I close my eyes and grit my teeth before pushing the door open and leaving Arkham.

"There was something different about her, Bruce. She isn't working for Joker but there's definitely something supernatural going on with her. She was genuinely terrified."

"Go back tonight and try to get more information from her. If she's not working for Joker, we still need to know what these powers are." I nod to my mentor and father figure as he walks away, my thoughts returning to Raven. I haven't been able to get her out of my head all day, distracting me and lingering in my thoughts no matter what I'm doing or where I'm at.

Walking through the doors of Arkham, I get a similar greeting to last night, but Jerald is more on edge. "Look, you can't be cutting her loose or giving her weapons."

"I didn't," he gives me an unbelieving look and I continue to explain. "Whatever her powers are, they got my weapons out of my belt and freed her but then she balled up in the corner so I wasn't concerned. Has she been bad today?"

"We moved her to a different cell to better handle her powers."

"What do you mean handle?"

"She's been acting up so I'm sure you'll see." We head towards her cell from yesterday but then take a sudden turn and continue to wind through the halls before coming to a dimly lit hallway with only two cells. Jerald approaches the right one and unlocks the door, flipping some kind of switch to the side before opening it. As the door swings open, my eyes scan the cell for Raven and see her chained to the far wall, seizing on the ground, as if in a seizure. Her eyes are wide but glazed over and fearfully looking around the room, like she's seeing something we can't.

The door shuts behind me as I walk in and Raven stops moving, her body relaxing as her eyes clear and look up to me.

"A-are you real?" she questions, cowering away into the corner, today dressed in a tight gray t-shirt, like two sizes to small tight, and black shorts, her feet bare like yesterday and hair wild and ratty.

"Yes, Raven." I squat down beside her as her hands reach for me, chained together and tethered to the wall but are pulled short before she can touch me. I put a hand out and press my fingers to hers and her whole body seems to collapse from relief.

"Raven, what was just going on? Why'd they move you to this cell?"

_Welcome to the Panic Room_

_Where all your darkest fears are gonna come for you_

"This is the panic room." She whispers. "Where all my darkest fears come to life because of those awful drugs they keep giving me.

"What? Panic room?" I look around and notice everything is rounded and buffed smooth, like a suicidal patients room, and her cuffs are covered in matted fur almost like they're trying to keep her wrists from being raw. "Are you sure that's what this is?"

_Welcome to the Panic Room_

_You'll know I wasn't joking when you see them to_

"Of course you don't believe me," she snips. "You're probably working with them. Those jack-assed, no good, cruel, motherfuc-Ahh!" her body begins to seize.

"Ah, ah, ah, Raven. Manners, remember? We must learn our manners, especially for our guest." A deep voice says over an intercom.

"Slade," I snarl. Slade Wilson was one of the asylum's top doctors, known for treating seemingly incurable patients. But he does it by breaking them down, drugging them into a stupor, and rewiring their minds to follow his rules.

"Ah, yes. Robin, I'm glad to see you've met my new pet."

"What are you doing to her?" I ask, watching Raven's body shake harder, foam beginning to come from her mouth and screams tearing from her throat.

"Fixing her, of course. She'll be my prize patient when this is all over and done with. That is, if I could get her to learn. her. manners!" Raven's screams manage to grow louder and I grab at the chains, feeling something pricking my skin through my gloves everywhere I touch and then my legs give out as my body begins to shake too.

"Now look at what you've done. Those chains are not meant to be touched by anyone other then the patient."

"Batman," I gasp into the earpiece.

"Robin, what is it?"

"I-I can't-" the room around me melts away and I stand on a platform, high above the crowd below and close to the roof of the circus tent. I gasp and stumble backwards, nearly falling off the other side of the rail-less stand. I look towards the crowd but they're attention are on the two people performing. I hesitantly look to them and see my parents smiling at each other, doing what they love as the swing and flip above the open ground, never a net in place to catch them.

"Dick!" I hear my mom shout to me as she swings towards me, hands open for my entrance into the act but then the lines come undone and I watch all over again as my parents fall to their deaths. I fall to my knees and lean over the edge, hand out to catch them, as if I could.

"No!" I shout as they fall and fall before an awful thud and then complete silence.

"Robin!" I hear someone shout from behind me as I continue to sit curled up and crying. "Robin!"

"No, no, no," I mutter over and over to myself.

"I've got him, let me help him," a woman's voice says and I feel hands on my temple, rubbing soothingly as the sight fades away, followed by the fear and grief. I blink and I'm back in Raven's cell, sprawled across the floor with my head in Raven's lap and Bruce leaning over us. Her thumbs are the ones pressing into my forehead and her eyes glow white as all the emotions that bombarded me leave. I blink a couple more times and a groan escapes the back of my throat from the relief and she stops, pulling her hand away as she and Bruce realize I'm coherent.

"Robin, are you okay?" She asks as I sit up, my hand moving to rub at my temple as she had but finding it doesn't offer the same relief.

"Yeah, I guess so," I mutter, standing, embarrassed to have been sucked into whatever the hell that was in front of both her and Bruce.

"You aren't to touch the chains. No one other then the patient may touch them. You aren't to touch the chains. No one other then the patient may touch them." She begins repeating over and over as she backs away.

"Why, Raven? What just happened to me?" Bruce wraps a piece of his cape thickly around his hand, reaching out to grab the chains and inspecting them. "There are small barbs on these, all connected to an IV running through the chains, laced with a hallucinogen." He looks between the chain and Raven.

"How'd you pull out of it so fast?"

"My demon heritage," she says quietly.

"Demon?"

"It's why I look the way I do and can do the things you've seen. My father is a demon, the worst kind. My mother was human, born in Gotham, raped by my father. I was hoping to find any family she had here. I should never have come. They told me I'd be treated as a monster. I _am _a monster. Look at me! Look at what I've done!" Raven breaks down into hysterics as the pathetic excuse for a mattress on the bed her chains can't even reach, shreds itself.

"I'm sorry," she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I need to calm down." She continues to breathe heavily before settling.

"My powers come from my father and are based on emotion. The more I feel and the stronger the emotion, the more likely it is that something will explode. It also prevents me from being sick. As soon as the drug stops pumping into my veins, I pull out of the nightmares as my blood clears the nasty stuff out."

"Let me see your wrists," Bruce asks, rather gently for him. She looks him up and down before slowly, hesitantly holding her hands out. Bruce nudges at the cuffs, looking for something off.

"There's nothing wrong with them now, I'm 'behaving'," she admits. "Hey fucker! When the hell am I going to get clothes that fucking fit me, you pervert!" she suddenly shouts and not a second later, something must happen to the cuffs as Bruce quickly pulls out his lock pick and Raven begins to convulse.

"Hold her still." Bruce demands as he works to get the cuffs off her. He finally manages to do so and carefully extracts dozens of two-inch long needles from both wrists, Raven snapping back out of it as the needles are removed, still dripping the drug onto the floor. Bruce pulls a vial from his belt and catches some of the drugs before they stop. He drops the cuffs to the floor.

"We need to get her out of here."

"You aren't taking her anywhere, Batman." Slade snarls over the intercom.

"You are mistreating and abusing this girl."

"That witch can handle it."

"That's sorceress to you, motherfucker," she curses and her eyes turn white as she levitates off the floor and black energy surrounds her hands, objects levitating as the door swings open.

"Move, Batman!" a guard shouts and points a gun right at Raven. I move to push her aside but the gun is fired and the bullet lodges itself in her side. She gasps and falls to the floor.

"Nice work, boys, now chain her back up. Batman, Robin, you no longer have authority to be here. Leave before you are forcefully escorted off the property." The guards raise their guns but Bruce drops a smoke bomb and begins to flee from the room, glancing back at me only to find I'm hesitating to follow.

"I'll come back for you," I whisper to her, knowing she can see me somehow. Bruce scowls, grabs my arm and pulls me after him, releasing me once I begin to follow. I look over my shoulder to see Raven's eyes glowing white and following me as the smoke dissipates, nodding sadly as I disappear into the night.

"We have to go back for her!" I argue as I follow Bruce through the Batcave. "I've been keeping tabs on the asylum all day and she's been moved again, chained up like Croc, with a shock collar around her neck to go along with those damn cuffs!"

"Dick, cool it. We aren't doing anything until you get a level head and focus. Her life depends on you being 100% in the game, not distracted." I stop as Bruce sits in front of the Batcomputer and begins typing. I know he's right, he always is.

I take a deep breath. "I know," I see a small smirk form on Bruce's lips as I lean against the desk, arms crossed. "So what do we do?"

"You'll sneak in tonight, around 1 am during the shift swaps. She'll be least guarded then and Slade will most likely be otherwise distracted as he seems to get visitors, female visitors, between midnight and 3 am so you should have enough time to break in, get her out, and get back here without being seen. But first, you need to go in as Dick Grayson, see if you can get a different reaction. Claim she's a friend or something."

I push off the desk and walk away, hopping onto my normal motorcycle and speeding back to the asylum.

Parking among the visitors cars, I calmly make my way up the doors and to the check in desk.

"Mr. Grayson, how can I help you?" Jerald greets, smiling cheerfully at me.

"Yes, I'm here to see a patient by the name of Raven? Shorter girl, purple hair, pretty eyes," I wink. "She's an old friend of mine. I heard she got put in here and thought she could use a familiar face." Jerald's smile falls off his face as he looks around.

"How'd you know about her?"

"I told you, old friends, and you know how word travels in Gotham, like the smog in the air," I grin. Jerald considers my answers before leading me through the asylum, taking just as many winding turns as last night, just in the opposite direction.

"I have to warn you, Mr. Grayson, this woman is a witch, the worst of the worst, hurt Batman and Robin last night and lashes out at the doctors." Jerald plays.

I act surprised, eyes widening as I glance at the door. "Really? The Raven I knew was shy and soft-spoken. Are you sure?"

"Yes, are _you _sure? She's an animal, crazy and murderous."

I fake a deep breath and nod. "Yes, she still needs a familiar face, a helping hand." Jerald shrugs and opens the door, flipping a switch similar to the first night. The door swings open and there Raven sits, tied to a chair with the shock collar administering a high voltage shock before shutting off.

"That should keep you safe. I can only allow you in here for five minutes, that's how long it takes for her to snap out of it." And the door slams shut.

Her eyes flutter open as she looks at me, surprise lighting her face.

"I know you don't know me, but-"

"Robin," she whispers and my eyes widen in shock.

"What'd you say?"

"Robin," she mutters again, blinking her eyes before focusing on me.

"I-I don't kn-know what you-"

"You radiate the same energy as he does, same height, hair, build. I know who you are."

"My name?"

"Robin," she repeats.

"No, Dick Grayson," I glance at the security camera in the corner. "I think you might be delusional, Rae," the nickname slipping from my mouth without any thought. Her eyebrow cocks and her head tilts to the side, studying me before glancing in the corner like I did, seeing the camera.

"No, maybe you're Batman, or a cyborg. Are you a robot?" she questions, playing a delusional looney.

"No, dear Raven." I tease, leaning against the door. "I thought you could use a familiar face in all this drab-ness."

"Anything familiar is welcome," she says quietly, looking to the mirror I'm leaning against. "It's to show me the monster I become when I get upset." She explains as I look at the mirror questioningly.

I look back to her and see her head droop tiredly to her chest before rolling back up.

"You remember how my favorite time of night was always one o'clock?" I ask her, eyes boring into hers. She simply stares back for a moment before nodding.

"Everyone is busy doing other things, normally sleeping, that you can stop and take in the stillness," she says, almost like she read my mind.

"Exactly," I smile charmingly at her and she blushes, looking away. "I always enjoyed seeing you at that time of night, hair glowing in the moonlight, dark clothes blending in to the background," I hint. "They haven't let you brush your hair?"

"They haven't let me take a shower." She replies dryly, looking back to me. "But I enjoyed seeing you then too, such a mystical hour, one o'clock."

"Perfect time for a midnight stroll, don't you think?"

"I always have." The flirtatious banter between us as we secretly plot her escape is effortless.

"We always had to beware those patrolling, though,"

"True, but one o'clock is when the coffee shop extras half-priced doughnuts and coffee for the third shifters." So she's been watching their shift changes too. I nod at her.

"Next time, I might bring a friend? Remember him?"

"The tall and dark one? Yes, I remember, but he might ruin the mood of a stroll through a dark park with only the moonlight to show us the way."

"Maybe, but you know he prefers to be alone anyway. Probably wouldn't stay for long. Just to say hi,"

"Of course."

A knock on the door behind me pulls us from our chat.

"I do love one am, just you and I," I tell her as the door opens and Jerald silently gestures for me to leave.

"Until next time, Rae," I step out and follow Jerald out, memorizing our turns and not seeming to breathe easily until I'm climbing onto my bike.

"She's expecting us at one," I tell Bruce as I walk into the kitchen, seeing him at the coffee pot. "She's been watching the guards patterns too."

"Good," he says absentmindedly before his head snaps up. "She-"

"She knows who I am," I say in confirmation. "Something about giving off the same energy." Bruce drags a hand down his face as he realizes she'll figure out who he is too.

"We have to be prepared and ready to go. We need to be there at one." I stress.

"Dick, I'm well aware. It'll happen." I look out the window and nod, seeing a small Raven land on a branch right outside before materializing into nothing. I blink a few times and see the branch still empty. Maybe I imagined it.

I sit around the corner of Raven's room, waiting for the two guards posted there to go and shift but after five minutes of them not moving, I realize they've been told to stay there all night.

_Still waiting, hands shaking_

_Maybe the coast will clear_

I find that I'm extremely on edge, more so then usual, as I try to determine how to get her out without the guards alerting others.

_But these voices, these strange noises_

_They followed me in here_

Down the hall, I can almost hear people yelling and screaming from inside their cells. The voices begin to sound more and more like my parents, my mother shouting my name as she fell from my reach. I shake my head but the voices only get louder and louder. But then, a new voice, a familiar voice that's never haunted me before.

"I'm a monster, you don't want to help me. You aren't to touch the chains. No one other then the patient may touch them. You can't-don't-help me! Please! Robin! Robin! Dick!" the voice fades out as I collapse to the ground, holding my head as the voices grow in volume until it feels like they're shouting down on me from overhead. I don't notice the guards fall to the ground, or the door to Raven's cell opening. I don't realize anything till those soothing hands are on my temple, rubbing and quieting the voices.

My head rolls up to see Raven in front of me, changed into a black long sleeve shirt, still too tight, and tight black leggings, feet bare as always. "We need to go, they'll wake up soon." I shake my head to clear my thoughts and grab her hand, pulling her after me.

"No, my way is faster," she claims, pulling me to a stop and holding up a hand. Her eyes glow white and hand glows black as her other hand, still holding mine, grips tighter. I watch as a large black raven envelops us and a cold sensation run down my spine.

Next think I know, we're standing beside my R-cycle and she's collapsing in my arms.

"Faster but energy draining," she claims weakly against my chest. I scoop her in my arms and place her on the bike, propping her feet up before swinging on behind her, wrapping my arms around her sides to keep her caged in and from falling off. We speed from the asylum as the prison break sirens begin blaring, but we leave them behind us.

Entering the hidden entrance to the Batcave, I feel her looking around drowsily. I park beside the Batmobile and pull her back up into my arms, feeling her wince as I carry her towards the med bay, Alfred waiting for us.

"I see the mission was a success, Master Dick," Alfred says in reference to the girl in my arms.

"It was, Al. She'll just need to lay low for awhile."

"Of course,"

"How are you feeling?" I ask her, helping her settle on a cot.

"Much better," she says, her hand moving to her side. The gunshot wound from last night comes tearing through my mind. "Oh my god, your side!" before she can stop me, I'm pulling her shirt up to see a small wound, the size of a quarter, scabbed up and bruised, but closed and not bleeding.

"I don't understand." I look to her as she pushes her shirt back down, a flush covering her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

"I have healing abilities. I've been slowly healing myself all day." She admits quietly when I hear Bruce coming down the stairs.

"Ah, so that's what the Batman looks like without the cowl," she quips as she sits up, Bruce coming around the corner without the cowl before stopping.

"Dick told me you would recognize us out of uniform so I didn't bother." Bruce states.

"Dick was right," she replies, grinning softly. Bruce nods before continuing on his way.

She looks to me. "You're not going to send me back, are you?"

"Of course not, Rae." I pull her towards me, her head resting against my collarbone; the feeling of the small gem digging into my skin isn't as uncomfortable as I'd have thought.

"No more panic room?"

"No, from here on out, only the safe room." I press a kiss to her forehead before she pulls back.

"You don't think I'm a freak? A monster?"

"I think you're beautiful," I tell her pressing my forehead to hers so I can stare into her eyes. "You have pretty eyes," I comment dumbly. Her blush returns and she glances away before looking back. Her fingers reach up and pull my mask away.

"You do too," she comments before pressing her lips to mine. My hands snake around her body and pull her close, neither of us realizing Alfred step from the room to give us privacy.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my god, that chapter was soooooooo long. I didn't mean for it to be. And I didn't even put the bridge in there but once I started writing the story, I had to remind myself to incorporate the lyrics into it. Haha, whoops? Well, anyway, hope you enjoyed. Also, sorry for taking quite the break from this story. The inspiration has to hit for this one if I want it to sound decent. I have a couple of songs lined up but anh. I don't know.  
**

**Thx!**

**AMM**


	7. Nobody Knows

**A/N: Really sorry for the delay on this chapter, guys! One of my dogs passed away a couple of days ago, my toxic ex best friend is trying to start drama, and I'm currently trying to write this with 3 5-week-old puppies wrestling in my lap. The song this week is from a show I watched a while ago and really enjoyed. It's called "Tell Me A Story" but season two is the only season worth watching, in my opinion. It's a crime-story kind of thing based on fairytales. The song this chapter comes from is a gender reversed Beauty and the Beast. I connect with this song and feel Raven does too, hence the reason I wrote this chapter. **

**One more thing, in response to Lovepeaceandwar, you can absolutely suggest songs! The worse I can say is 'pass'. I have to enjoy listening to the song and see a suitable story to it before I use it in a chapter, but again, the worst I can do is not use it. I'm always looking for suggestions!**

**P.S. I do not own this song. I'm nowhere near talented enough to write it. I can barely play it on the guitar!**

**Thx!**

**AMM**

* * *

_Song: Nobody Knows by Tell Me A Story (Season Two) cast_

_Everything seems to have been going great for once. The world isn't in danger, there's been a lull in criminal activity, Raven's able to express herself more, there's no more threat of Trigon, and Raven and Robin can finally be happy together. At least, Robin thinks so. But just because the threat is gone, doesn't mean everyone can be happy all the time. Raven can't keep pretending like she can just forget the past and the trauma she's had to endure. She's not worrying about the world anymore so it's time for her fears and thoughts from before Trigon to finally _

~Raven's POV~

I can't take it anymore, the looks, the smiles, the act, like everything is okay. And maybe to them it is. But to me it's not. I can't just forget. I've been trying to keep up this front, not let them know that I'm still affected, let them have their hard-earned victory. They deserve it anyways. But this continuous joy, the never-ending smiles and laughter, the belief that everything is okay now when it's not, I can't take it! I try to make it out of the room but the laughter caused by one of Cy's jokes at Beast Boy's expense gets me and I cry out, falling to my knees as my emotions come roaring from the box I've tried storing them in.

This, of course, immediately alerts the team, it immediately alerts my leader, my best friend and over-protective boyfriend.

I stumble to my feet and make an unsteady dash for the door, hearing Robin jump over the back of the couch.

I try to teleport but find that I can't, my mind is in shambles right now, and my required concentration is gone. I feel like I'm drowning in emotional turmoil and I'm moving far too slow to be able to get away from my concerned lover.

"Raven! Whoa, Raven! What's wrong?" His hands are on my shoulders and he's the only thing keeping me from collapsing back to the floor.

"How-how can you?" I ask weakly as tears stream down my face.

"How can I what? Rae, you're worrying me." I take a deep breath and shove his hands off my shoulders, stumbling around him and towards my room.

"You're clearly in no condition to be walking," he says from behind me and suddenly I'm being scooped up and we're changing directions, heading towards his room instead of mine.

I'm quick to stop fighting him, knowing he'll only annoy me if I don't explain. He must feel the fight leave my body as I slump in his arms and bury my face in his shoulder, my tears dampening his cape and the shoulder of his uniform. I can feel his speed pick up and then the swish of doors opening before I'm gently being set on the soft comforter of his bed, still surprisingly rumpled from this morning when we woke up.

"Talk to me, please," he sits in front of me, leaning forward to look in my eyes, his mask suddenly gone.

_I bet you think you know me_

_I bet you think you care_

"How well do you think you know me?" I as after a moment of silence and I can tell the question shocks him as he leans away from me with wide eyes.

"I-I-"

"Would you say it's well?"

"I think-I know that I know you better then anyone else on the team, you've said so yourself."

"Yes, but how well is that?"

"What are you getting at, Rae?" He evades.

"I bet you think you know me, I bet you think you care," I say quietly as I wrap my arms tightly around myself.

"What are you talking about? Of course I care!"

"But do you? Robin, I've been struggling these last few weeks but did you know it?" I chance a look at him through my lashes and he's sitting back, staring at me like I've grown another head. "Were you aware how hard it's been for me? Trying to adjust to a completely different way of living? One where I can feel emotion that I don't know what to do with? To feel all the things that I was too busy too feel before?

_I bet you think I'm stronger then I really am_

"But you've never really shown that you were so deeply affected. I thought this what your way of behaving now that you can feel without blowing something up! You're always so strong, Rae, I thought you were okay! Maybe not super happy, but at least not stressed and depressed anymore.

"Just because I act strong, it doesn't mean I am." I tell him, looking back to my lap. The words seem to act like a slap to the face.

_I hide behind the laughter_

"I admit, I was trying to hide it but if you knew me as well as I thought you did, you should've realized something was off-I don't laugh." It seems I've dealt him a second metaphorical slap as his breath catches and mixed emotions wash over me through the bond.

In an effort to conceal my true emotions, I've tried to copy the actions of the others, which involves a lot of laughing. Sure, I've chuckled in the past but I've never been one to let out a full-on laugh, even on accident.

_Nobody knows how hard it is to wake up_

_Nobody knows how many tears I've cried_

_Sometimes I wanna give up_

I stand from the bed and approach his floor to ceiling windows, noticing he doesn't follow me. "I wonder what it'd be like to fall asleep and not wake up," I whisper and that's when I hear him move, not surprised when I see his reflection in the window, not an inch behind me, his body heat radiating into my back.

"Why would you ever think something like that?" he asks, heartbroken.

"I think everyone has that thought at least once in their life." I partially evade. "It seems fitting that now is when I have it."

"No, it's not fitting. Everything is okay now! Everything is over, everyone is safe, we can all move on-"

"No, Robin! Everything is not okay; it is not over, I can't move on! I was too stressed when we were waiting for the arrival of Trigon! I didn't think about how I felt, I didn't think about what would happen if I somehow defeated him, I didn't bother thinking about anything after the fact! But now it's happened and everything has slowed down and it's consuming me! It's all I can think about! There is no moving on! I don't even know how to do that anymore! You don't know how much I've cried, trying to understand and comprehend what I'm supposed to do with my life now! I was never told how to feel! It was always, conceal it, Raven, don't show it, Raven, don't let your emotions control you, Raven! Never, how are you today, Raven? How are you feeling today, Raven? Is everything okay, Raven? None of that! I'm out of my depth here! I don't know what to do!" My voice has risen to a shout as it comes pouring out of me and more tears have begun to leak from my eyes.

_Nobody knows how hard it is to smile_

"How do you do it?" I suddenly ask, my voice dropping back to a whisper.

"Do what?" he asks, voice strained.

"Smile so much? A genuine smile?"

"Because I'm feeling genuinely happy. I have a lot to be happy about; the team, the safety of the city, you. You make me happier then anyone has since I was a child, Rae."

_I bet you think I'm happy_

_But I've got you fooled_

_And all my perfect pictures are lying to you to_

"I-I thought you were happy. The small smiles you'd give me at night when it was just the two of us, the hand squeezes when we held hands under the table, or how you'd snuggle in when watching something on TV.

"I was….content but I wouldn't say happy," I reply softly. "I don't know a time where I was truly happy for more then a few minutes. I feel safe with you, Robin, and at ease, but have always felt that I can't let you all the way in because you'll look at me how you're looking at me right now. With sad puppy dog eyes and a broken heart because I'm not who you thought I was.

"You weren't happy here?" I hear him shift and something click on when a small light is aimed at me. I glance over and see him holding his phone out, a picture of us filling the screen. The picture was taken about a week ago, when Robin and I had stayed up late watching a movie before moving to his room for bed. I hadn't been tired yet so I'd been reading, using my powers to hold the book above my head so I could lie on my back with Robin's shirtless form sprawled across my chest, his arms wrapped around me with his hand holding the phone away from us to capture the picture. He had immediately claimed it was a favorite of his and saved it to his phone. There was a barely noticeable smile on my face and my eyes are concentrated on his reflection in the phone instead of the lens.

I slowly reach out and take the phone from his hand, holding it closer to my face as I absorb every detail about the picture. To most, I look normal, emotionless and neutral but I can tell the slight turn of my lips that I'm smiling, or at least my version of a smile, and it's because of the man hugging me tight, snuggled into my chest. And though I know I'd felt something in that moment, I'm still not sure I'd call it happiness. I'm not one for pictures so I don't see the point of capturing a moment through a photo.

"I fell further in love with you, but I wouldn't call it a happy moment. Again, I was content and comfortable and was more concentrated on you then me." His shoulders sag.

_I'm terrified of failing_

_I'm scared to be alone_

_And I don't want anyone to know_

"Why haven't you told me this before? Why did it take you haven't some kind of episode for me to learn something's been going on with you? Would you have ever told me?"

"Because I didn't know what to make of it myself! And the last thing I wanted to do was drag all of you into my depression and anxiety! You all have earned your victory, your relaxation and happiness! But I don't know what to do with myself; I was never trained for this! For unbridled emotion and overwhelming feelings! I didn't want to fail you guys by letting on that I'm not relieved and happy! I don't want to lose the team-I don't want to lose _you_ but it seems like I already have! Don't think I'm not noticing you withdrawing from me and closing off your half of the bond," I point at him accusingly.

_Nobody knows how hard it is to be here_

"Wouldn't it just be easier if I left? If I wasn't a burden anymore? Because I've noticed that too, all of you acting differently when I'm around. I don't fit in like you guys; I'm easily the most different out of a group of misfits. I don't _fit _with the misfits. You all have your genuine emotions and are able to be yourselves with each other and then I come in and a tension grows in the background, like I'm a ticking time bomb that one wrong word could trigger. It's made me feel like I _am_ a time bomb; like I have to control myself before I say something none of you expect or want to hear! I should leave and take my creepy ways with me!" I turn to leave the room when I feel arms wrap around me from behind and I'm suddenly being pulled to the ground.

"Don't do that, please don't leave me," he whispers into my shoulder as I sit between his knees, his arms wrapped around me to prevent me from moving. "I can't do this without you. I'll help you through this, Rae, you've just gotta let me. You haven't scared me off; you've just brought my attention to problems I didn't know were there. I can't lose you too."

I try to curl in on myself as his bond connection opens back up and begin to drown me.

"You aren't alone, you're never alone, I will always be here for you, please believe that." He begins rocking back and forth as the tears begin to flow again but I realize that they're not just from me, but from him as well. The collar of my leotard is getting wet from his tears. "We'll work through it together. I know now."

I can only hope and pray that he's right.

* * *

**A/N: Originally, I wrote this story with Raven attempting to take her life but felt that was too dark (like other things I write aren't dark) but I wasn't really liking how it was coming out anyway so I scrapped it and rewrote it this way. I know the ending was kinda abrupt but I wasn't sure how to end the chapter without dragging it out unnecessarily long. If you have any song suggestions, feel free to leave them along with reviews! I know most of these chapters are angsty and dark but Raven is an angsty and dark character and a lot of the music I tend to listen to is as well so I think it just fits. There aren't a lot of happy, lovey-dovey songs that I know that really fit these guys, or at least Raven. **

**Thx!**

**AMM**


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